Aromatherapy

If you read my last article on shifting stuck energy using essential oil blends (check it out here if you didn’t: https://getoiling.com/NessaLovell/blog/14094/the-5-minute-practice-to-help-you-shift-stuck-energy) you might be interested in hearing how that worked for me.  I’ve always found it’s far more interesting reading other people’s experiences than just hoping it works.

So – the two oils I’ve been using for the past few months are Surrender and Awaken.   Surrender is a blend designed to help you let go of those things that hold you back in life (those limiting beliefs I was talking about) and clear and open your mind in order for you to be able to reach your full potential.  Awaken is a blend that has been created to assist with releasing negative memories so that you can begin to make more positive life changes and become aware of your limitless potential.  Awaken is also a wonderful oil to use in manifesting your goals and meditation.  A complementary pairing don’t you think?  

Each morning, I would apply a drop of each over my solar plexus or heart chakra before heading off to work.  I could feel that there was something that needed to be uncovered and recognised, as my business and health were just feeling a bit…STUCK.  No matter how much effort I put in, I always felt depleted and frustrated and like I wasn’t achieving enough. The more I tried, and the harder I pushed, the more exhausted and annoyed I became.  I was trying to force something that would not be forced; therefore, I KNEW I needed to deal with something.  But, as someone who has been studying personal development for years, and who is generally very self-aware, I just couldn’t figure out what it was.  Thus, the oils.  

Then a couple of weeks ago I was asked a question around what the feeling was inside when I just never seemed to succeed.  And BAM – there it was!  I AM UNWANTED.  I could trace that belief back YEARS – right back to a 4 or 5-year-old child, and then onwards through my school years, romances, work places, friendships and more.  As an adult, I can recognise the circumstances that lead to that belief was based on a childish misunderstanding, but I can also see now how I have structured my WHOLE LIFE around this belief.  How does that show up do you ask?  Well, hold on to your seat, because this may just apply to you too.

When you believe in your very core that you are unwanted, you then create a REASON to be wanted or needed in people’s lives, workplaces and society in general.   You make yourself valuable by giving, giving and more giving – time, money, affection, you name it.  For me, this has led to a lifetime of volunteering for everything from charity events and providing free services to donating eggs to childless couples.  I always thought it was me being selfless and caring, but turns out it went a lot deeper than that.

It has led to lots of co-dependent friendships based on me being a ‘support person’ and always being the dependable and reliable one that always puts themselves last.   I have always loved to rescue people.   I’ve been a veritable doormat for some friends, because then they would keep me around.  Don’t get me wrong – not every friendship was like this, and I did genuinely care for those friends.  But it became so entrenched that when a friend would contact me to see if I wanted to catch up, I would automatically think they needed my help with something, not that they just enjoyed my company.  No wonder I felt so crap!  

In my work, I’ve always chosen careers or businesses that gave me external validation – as a face painting fairy that was well loved and ‘so talented!’, to a healer and helper, to a mentor and an artist.  It was all built around being needed or being seen.  And when I didn’t feel needed or seen, I became sad, despondent and frustrated.  Because I felt inside that I was of no value, I always needed that recognition from others to tell me that I was wanted.  

Now, here’s the thing – I don’t blame anyone else for this.  Those friends took advantage because I invited and encouraged them to.  Those things that happened were just things that happened – I chose to make them mean I was unwanted.  I don’t blame myself for this either – I’m human too.  I created this as a survival mechanism, because we all need to feel included in some way to keep us safe.  But now that I can SEE it, I can also start to change it.  

So, what do the oils have to do with all this?  In my experience, the daily application of those oils helped to keep me focused on uncovering what I needed to see.  It allowed me to recognise it without recrimination or blame, to process and unpack it.  Like a poultice designed to draw splinters or infections out of wounds, I feel these oils work on an energetic level to draw out memories, negative thinking and belief systems.  They aren’t a quick fix, but used regularly and with intention, they can work.  

Now that I have recognised this pattern, I’ve changed my oil combination.   My daily oils are now Acceptance (to help me accept myself) and Abundance (to invite positive emotions and prosperity).  My daily affirmation is now:  

My habits are changing.  I’m letting go of the need to be wanted.  I’m choosing different actions, and looking after me first.  I’m focusing on my health now, as it’s time to love myself.   I’m coming home to my authentic self, and I can finally see that happiness and self-acceptance is possible.

I would love to hear if this resonates with you too, so reach out or comment below if it does.  If you would like any assistance to purchase some of these beautiful oils, please feel free to contact me on the details below.  

xxx Nessa

Energy, or chi, is at the heart of Feng Shui.  The way in which the energy flows, the elements and colours associated with each part of the home and the way in which we can create a harmonious and auspicious environment to live in dictates the colour and placement of furniture, rooms and décor items.  Going from recent personal experience, when we have clutter or the wrong items in certain areas of our homes, things can go a LONG way down the toilet.  

In a similar way, our internal life is also affected by energy.  When we look at alternative and holistic health modalities, the central focus is in moving stuck or stagnant energy, thought forms or beliefs in the mind, body or energy field.  We can often see a reflection in the body of what is happening in the mind.  Back issues and pain might be a physical reflection of a feeling of being unsupported for example, while ulcers can be a sign of too much worrying and stress.  

As someone who works with people to release and reprogram old beliefs and patterns, I have seen many times how shifting energy in one part of your life can lead to shifts in other areas too.  I work with a number of energetic tools including colour, essential oils, Reiki and intention as well as techniques that are more logic based and work on the mechanics of the mind.  All of these can work on a subtle level (sometimes more like a sledgehammer) to create positive change where there was only stagnant energy before.  

One of my favourite ways to shift energy is by using essential oils, words and intention to affirm daily what it is I want to change.  The right kind of essential oils (and there are many wrong kinds out there) are literally the living essence of the plant, and therefore are an energetic substance in and of themselves.  What that means, is that when an oil blend has been created with love, intention and knowledge to stimulate a certain feeling in the mind/body, then that can lend more power to our affirmation.  

Take an oil such as Joy for instance, which was created to inspire feelings of love and happiness.   When we anoint our chest with a drop of the oil, and affirm that we are open to experiencing love and joy today while smelling the oil, it creates an anchor in our awareness.  It not only reminds us of what we are choosing to experience, but we start to condition ourselves with the scent too.  Before long, just opening the bottle will remind us to be open to experiencing love and joy without us even thinking about it.   As scent works directly on the emotional centre of the brain, it is a powerful tool to use.  

Just like all tools though, they need to be used regularly and properly to be of assistance.  First, we must be willing to commit to our daily practice - even if it is only 5 minutes in the morning where we anoint, affirm and breathe.  Investing in good quality tools always saves money in the long run, so make sure you have the right kind of oils and know how to use them (ask me, because I know and can teach you). You also need to be clear on what you want to change and why.   If you aren’t clear and committed, you won’t know when it shifts.  

As with Feng Shui, we usually need to remove the clutter and rearrange a space before the energy shifts – and sometimes on a personal level that involves a serious look at the behaviours, people and places you surround yourself with.  It may be time to let some things go, or spend less time with people who keep you stuck.  To get some clarity on this, download my free worksheet here:  What do I want to shift_.pdf

Finally, be open to whatever happens during the process – you may meet someone who can help you, stumble upon a new activity that brings you joy or make a new friend.  Usually once you commit, things start to happen – but not always what you expect. Things that appear negative at first may turn out to be exactly what is needed for that energy to shift, so look for the lesson and be open to change.  May you experience many blessings and opportunities in your journey. 

PS.  If you would like to learn more about what to look out for when buying essential oils, you can download my free ebook here.  You will also find my contact details for when you choose to buy some yourself, because you know I will look after you.  

You've heard of them - lets face it - essential oils are in everything from skin care products and shampoo to laundry detergents and 'natural air fresheners' these days.  You may have even cottoned on that they are trendy for a reason. If you are science and data focused, there are literally 14000+ scientific studies that you can search online about essential oils and what they can do to different types of bacteria, germs, moods, hormones and more.  I'm not going to explain those - I'm not a scientist even though I find them fascinating too.  All that being said, you might be wondering - what exactly is an essential oil?

Essential oils are concentrated plant extracts that contain naturally occurring chemical compounds that assist the plant to protect themselves from predators and pests and attract pollinating insects such as bees or flies.  They are often referred to as part of the immune system of the plant.  Not all plants contain essential oils, and not all essential oils can be used safely by humans.  

Plants have been used by humans for thousands of years for therapeutic and medicinal purposes, so it is no surprise that essential oils have been the focus of many scientific studies into the efficacy of oils to treat specific conditions.  As essential oils are distilled from large quantities of plant material, properly distilled oils tend to be highly concentrated and potent – but only oils that are classed as GRAS (Generally Regarded As Safe) are available commercially. They can range in price depending on how easy it is to grow and extract the oil and sadly, based on how many fillers, solvents, or synthetic additives have been used.  

Essential oils can be extracted from different parts of the plant, such as cold pressed citrus rinds, resins from trees, leaves, bark, the wood itself, petals, stalks, roots and seeds, and as you can imagine, they smell like that part of the plant. Coriander oil and Cilantro oil smell very different (even though they come from the same plant) as they contain different chemical constituents unique to that part of the plant - Cilantro oil is distilled from the leaves, while Coriander oil is distilled from the seeds.  

The oils are extracted from the plant material through different means depending on what is needed for that particular plant.  The most common form is steam distillation, where the plant material is placed into a large stainless steel still, and steam is injected into it.  The steam releases the volatile plant oils into the vapour, which is then collected in a condenser attached to the still.  The water and oil are then separated.  Solvent extraction uses chemicals such as ethanol and hexane to extract the oil - and ultimately those chemicals stay in the oil (these oils are often used in perfume, which is one reason why I don't wear perfume).  Enfleurage is a process where the flowers of a plant (such as jasmine) are placed in vegetable or animal fat for the scent to infuse the fat over a number of days.  There are a number of other processes that can be used as well, such as cold pressing and CO2 extraction.  

The important distinction to draw here is that the term 'essential oils' can be as broad as the term 'orange juice' - it can describe anything from the fake, orange-flavoured concentrate (in the case of oils, this is equivalent to the fragrance oils that have no health benefits whatsoever) to the freshly-squeezed, organic orange juice (or organically produced, therapeutic grade essential oils in this case) and everything in between.  Even 'therapeutic grade' only refers to the fact that the plant material has been distilled at a low temperature over a long period of time - so even amongst this category there are huge variations in quality.  When you are buying essential oils, there are a number of things you want to look out for to make sure you get the best quality oils available. You can download my free ebook The 6 Mistakes to Avoid When Buying Essential Oils here to learn more about why this is important and what questions to ask suppliers.  

There are many essential oil producers around the world, ranging from small farms that produce one or two varieties of oil, to large corporations that grow and distill many.  There are also many 'essential oil companies' that don't actually grow or produce their own oils at all - they just buy them in through brokers and put their label on them. This isn't of itself a bad thing - but it does make it more difficult to understand and appreciate the quality and safety standards that ensure that the oils are of the best quality.  I always recommend finding a supplier that takes pride in their safety, testing, farms, distillation and people, and who are committed to organic, sustainable and Fair Trade practice.  If you can visit their farms to see this for yourself, then that's just icing on the cake.  

Here is to living your best life

Anger is something that we all experience from time to time, but for some of us it is a regular occurrence.  When it gets to a point where our families, friends and workmates are suffering for it, then something needs to give.  If you are struggling not to wear your cranky pants, here are a few tips to manage those more explosive emotions.

Buttons - When someone really pushes our buttons, it’s a giant clue that we have buttons to push.  What does that mean? Well, chances are you have some old programming running your show, and that comment your co-worker made just reminded you that you aren’t good enough or that you are a giant failure.  If that’s the case – remember you are human, and that’s all quite normal – BUT, it’s not very helpful.  Find someone who can work with you around that old programming so it’s harder to push those buttons.  NLP and Eutaptics are two modalities I find helpful, but there are heaps of others.

Don’t take it personally – when someone has accused you of something or been really rude, and you KNOW you didn’t do anything wrong, then remember – it’s not about you.  They aren’t coping well with something, but it’s not your fault. Maybe they could do with some support.  Or maybe you need to just walk away and say to yourself – Not my circus, not my monkeys. 

Breathe – go lock yourself in a cupboard or go for a walk, and just focus on your breathing.  In, and out.  When we are in an emotional state we tend to hyperventilate or not breathe much at all, and that does NOT help us to make logical decisions.  Learn some breathing techniques to help you manage stress and emotions.  The Wim Hoff method is quite popular at the moment, or learn some yogic breathing.

Exercise – get the blood and endorphins flowing!  Go for a run, walk or find a punching bag and go nuts.   Safely.

Aromatherapy – breathe in your coffee, find some roses in the garden, or grab your favourite essential oil.  The sense of smell works directly on the amygdala, which is the emotional part of your brain, so can calm you down fast, as long as the smell doesn’t have any bad memories associated with it!  When we are highly charged and triggered by something, we tend to 'flip our lid' - which basically means that our logical brain stops working and our emotional brain takes over.  Ever noticed how when you get REALLY cranky you can't seem to string a decent sentence together?  That's why.  By utilising the power of the sense of smell, we can get that logical brain functioning again a bit faster than otherwise.  Just remember to use high quality, therapeutic grade essential oils.  You can learn more about why that is important by downloading my free ebook here:  The 6 Mistakes to Avoid When Buying Essential Oils.

Rip, stomp and tear - write it all down, then tear it up, burn it in a fire pit, or stomp on it. It’s surprisingly therapeutic.

And finally - if anger is a serious problem for you, it would be a good idea for you to see a professional psychologist to discuss what else is going on under the surface.  There is no shame in admitting you have a problem, but imagine what the impact might be if you let it take over your life.  No one wants that.  

Here is to living your best life – catch you next time!