Beliefs

If you read my last article on shifting stuck energy using essential oil blends (check it out here if you didn’t: https://getoiling.com/NessaLovell/blog/14094/the-5-minute-practice-to-help-you-shift-stuck-energy) you might be interested in hearing how that worked for me.  I’ve always found it’s far more interesting reading other people’s experiences than just hoping it works.

So – the two oils I’ve been using for the past few months are Surrender and Awaken.   Surrender is a blend designed to help you let go of those things that hold you back in life (those limiting beliefs I was talking about) and clear and open your mind in order for you to be able to reach your full potential.  Awaken is a blend that has been created to assist with releasing negative memories so that you can begin to make more positive life changes and become aware of your limitless potential.  Awaken is also a wonderful oil to use in manifesting your goals and meditation.  A complementary pairing don’t you think?  

Each morning, I would apply a drop of each over my solar plexus or heart chakra before heading off to work.  I could feel that there was something that needed to be uncovered and recognised, as my business and health were just feeling a bit…STUCK.  No matter how much effort I put in, I always felt depleted and frustrated and like I wasn’t achieving enough. The more I tried, and the harder I pushed, the more exhausted and annoyed I became.  I was trying to force something that would not be forced; therefore, I KNEW I needed to deal with something.  But, as someone who has been studying personal development for years, and who is generally very self-aware, I just couldn’t figure out what it was.  Thus, the oils.  

Then a couple of weeks ago I was asked a question around what the feeling was inside when I just never seemed to succeed.  And BAM – there it was!  I AM UNWANTED.  I could trace that belief back YEARS – right back to a 4 or 5-year-old child, and then onwards through my school years, romances, work places, friendships and more.  As an adult, I can recognise the circumstances that lead to that belief was based on a childish misunderstanding, but I can also see now how I have structured my WHOLE LIFE around this belief.  How does that show up do you ask?  Well, hold on to your seat, because this may just apply to you too.

When you believe in your very core that you are unwanted, you then create a REASON to be wanted or needed in people’s lives, workplaces and society in general.   You make yourself valuable by giving, giving and more giving – time, money, affection, you name it.  For me, this has led to a lifetime of volunteering for everything from charity events and providing free services to donating eggs to childless couples.  I always thought it was me being selfless and caring, but turns out it went a lot deeper than that.

It has led to lots of co-dependent friendships based on me being a ‘support person’ and always being the dependable and reliable one that always puts themselves last.   I have always loved to rescue people.   I’ve been a veritable doormat for some friends, because then they would keep me around.  Don’t get me wrong – not every friendship was like this, and I did genuinely care for those friends.  But it became so entrenched that when a friend would contact me to see if I wanted to catch up, I would automatically think they needed my help with something, not that they just enjoyed my company.  No wonder I felt so crap!  

In my work, I’ve always chosen careers or businesses that gave me external validation – as a face painting fairy that was well loved and ‘so talented!’, to a healer and helper, to a mentor and an artist.  It was all built around being needed or being seen.  And when I didn’t feel needed or seen, I became sad, despondent and frustrated.  Because I felt inside that I was of no value, I always needed that recognition from others to tell me that I was wanted.  

Now, here’s the thing – I don’t blame anyone else for this.  Those friends took advantage because I invited and encouraged them to.  Those things that happened were just things that happened – I chose to make them mean I was unwanted.  I don’t blame myself for this either – I’m human too.  I created this as a survival mechanism, because we all need to feel included in some way to keep us safe.  But now that I can SEE it, I can also start to change it.  

So, what do the oils have to do with all this?  In my experience, the daily application of those oils helped to keep me focused on uncovering what I needed to see.  It allowed me to recognise it without recrimination or blame, to process and unpack it.  Like a poultice designed to draw splinters or infections out of wounds, I feel these oils work on an energetic level to draw out memories, negative thinking and belief systems.  They aren’t a quick fix, but used regularly and with intention, they can work.  

Now that I have recognised this pattern, I’ve changed my oil combination.   My daily oils are now Acceptance (to help me accept myself) and Abundance (to invite positive emotions and prosperity).  My daily affirmation is now:  

My habits are changing.  I’m letting go of the need to be wanted.  I’m choosing different actions, and looking after me first.  I’m focusing on my health now, as it’s time to love myself.   I’m coming home to my authentic self, and I can finally see that happiness and self-acceptance is possible.

I would love to hear if this resonates with you too, so reach out or comment below if it does.  If you would like any assistance to purchase some of these beautiful oils, please feel free to contact me on the details below.  

xxx Nessa